


Where Does the Good Go?

by Midnight_Musings



Series: Ghosts That We Knew [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Credence is 22 and graves is 37, During Canon, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Some angst, not from original!graves but from credences "family"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8641828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Musings/pseuds/Midnight_Musings
Summary: "My name is Percival Graves. I'm afraid Tina didn't mention yours."

  "C-Credence."

  Percival smiled at him reassuringly. "Very pleased to meet you Credence."





	1. Dancing In the Dark (before)

**Author's Note:**

> Upon finding out Graves was a real person my brain went into head canon overdrive. 
> 
> Okay so from what I'm thinking, Tina attacked Credence's mother six months before the start of the film. In those 6 months (as per her request), Original Graves takes over what Tina would do and looks out for Credence, but their bond is a lot stronger and more romantic. After about five months, Grindelwald kidnaps Graves and impersonates him, and had been doing so for around a month when the film starts. 
> 
> The first chapter is set pre canon (with original graves)
> 
> The second chapter is set during the film (with interactions with original graves and grindlewald + with Grindlewald|Graves and Credence)
> 
> The third chapter is set post-canon (back to original graves and dealing with the aftermath of whats happened)
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoy my ducklings (i know this isn't the best written thing, but you apparently have to sell your soul to get a beta reader so tipsy me is editing)
> 
> sidenote - jonNOny dick can die in a hole filled with lava, my boi mads mikkelsen is grindy in this (also i only ship credence with original!Graves - grindle and credence is yuck and no so you'll see none of that from me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title taken from dancing in the dark by bruce springsteen

It was Goldstein's fault. She had attacked the No-Maj woman. Gotten herself demoted, lied about oblivating the boy, and instead of asking for help reinstating her previous position, all she asked, was that Percival checked on the Salem Boy.

He supposed it wouldn't hurt. As long as he was careful, and no one saw him. Tina had already lost so much. He could at least do this for her.

Percival had no difficulty in finding the boy. He and the rest of his family were always outside on the streets, handing out pamphlets for their cause.

It was raining when he first attempted to talk to him. He was standing there, completely soaked, a stack of leaflets in his hand, dressed only in a thin undershirt and trousers.

He must have been freezing.

"May I have one?" asked Percival.

The boy nodded. Percival noted the way his hand shook as he handed a pamphlet to him.

"Explain something to me, boy," said Percival. "What makes witches so bad?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again before replying, obviously unsure of how to respond.

"They, they, are unnatural, s-sir." he stuttered out. “Sinful."

"But you know a witch, don't you." Percival dropped his voice to a whisper. "She helped you. Attacked your mother.”

The pamphlets fell out of the boy's hands, his eyes grew wide with horror.

"I have to go," he said, barely audible. He pushed past Percival, sprinting down the street, away from him.

* * *

The second time was slightly more successful.

Percival managed to corner the boy again while he was alone.

"Please, don't run away," he said at once, upon seeing the fearful look in the boy's eyes. "I feel that I didn't explain myself thoroughly the last time we met. I'm a friend of Tina's. You remember her, right?”

The boy nodded uncertainly.

"My name is Percival Graves. I'm afraid Tina didn't mention yours.”

“C-Credence."

Percival smiled at him reassuringly. "Very pleased to meet you Credence. Now, Tina won't be able to come and see you anymore-“

"Is she alright?" asked Credence. "I'm sorry for interrupting Sir, I just wanted to know," he added quickly.

"It's alright, you don't need to apologise. Tina is safe, nothing bad has happened to her. But, because of what she did to your mother, she can't visit you anymore. So she asked me to keep an eye on you. Is that alright?”

"There's no need for that Sir. Nothing's wrong.”

"You don't have to lie to me. I want to help you.”

"Credence!" a voice barked from behind, causing them both to jump.

A tall, bony woman stood there, a look of fury on her face. "What are you doing?”

Credence opened his mouth to reply, but Percival quickly interjected.

"I am so sorry ma'am. I just wanted to know about your fascinating group and when the next meeting is. He was just answering my questions." He smiled at her, hoping his explanation would be enough to keep Credence out of trouble.

"Come along Credence," she said, not taking her eyes of Percival. "We have things that need to be done.”

Credence's face fell instantly into lines of misery as he followed the women away.

* * *

Percival spotted him again, a week later, lingering in a dark alleyway. He was surprised the boy was out so late.

"Credence?" asked Percival tentatively. "Are you alright?”

He looked up Graves, his face now clear in the light of the street lamps, a dark bruise on his cheekbone.

Percival looked at him sadly. "What happened?”

"She-Well-I-It was-It was my fault." Credence said in a rush.

"Did your mother do this?' He raised a hand to inspect the injury.

Credence flinched, and involuntarily stepped backwards upon seeing the movement.

Percival held his hands up, dropping his voice to a soft reassuring tone. "It's alright, I won't hurt you, I promise. All I wanted was to see how bad it was.”

He was met with an odd look from Credence, who didn't seem quite know how to react.

"Is it painful?" asked Percival

Credence nodded.

"I can get rid of the pain for you," he said. "Make it stop hurting. Would you like me to do that?”

There was a long pause before Credence gave his answer in a small whisper. “Yes."

Percival lifted his wand, and muttered a healing spell under his breath, hovering the wand over Credence's bruise.

Credence had his eyes screwed shut, his breathing short and fast.It didn't take long. It was a relatively simple spell, and Percival didn't want to make the boy any more uncomfortable than he already was.

"All done." he said.

Credence opened his eyes and traced his fingers over the bruise. "It doesn't hurt anymore.”

Percival smiled softly at him. "I'm glad. I did a spell so the pain would go away, but the mark is still there. That way, your mother won’t know.”

"Th-thank you, Mr Graves.”

"You're welcome, Credence. Now, I work in that building over there," he said, pointing across the street. "If you ever need me, wait outside, and I will find you.”

Credence nodded in response.

"Good boy. Actually, I don't think I ever asked how old you are?”

"Twenty-two sir.”

"Not a boy at all then,”

"No sir," Credence said, giving him a weak smile.

"I just have one more question. If you don't mind telling me, why are you out so late?”

"Mother said I had to walk of an hour to think about what I'd done."

"Well, I'm sure an hour is almost up. You should go home and try to stay safe.”

Credence nodded at him.

"Remember, Credence. If you need anything, you know where to find me. Percival gave him one last smile before turning on the spot and disapparated, leaving Credence alone once more.

* * *

They carried on like that for weeks. They would talk, eat, Percival had even got a few laughs out of him. Credence would seek Percival out, always with a new injury,  getting more severe with every visit. 

* * *

Around two months into their, engagement, it was Percival who found Credence.

He had finished work late. There had been sightings of Grindelwald in the South, the threat level was on high alert. And there was something else. Something new. It was only a couple incidences they could not explain, They appeared to be isolated. Yes, they had the method in common but no related motive. It was probably nothing. He needed sleep, clear his head. Percival stood still in the pouring rain, letting the cold droplets wash over him, a moment of peace from the worries of all that was happening around him.

It was the sound of a stifled sob that caught his attention. Coming from the dark alley next to the Woolworth Building. Percival drew his wand, ready to attack. However, there was no need.

Credence was huddled on the ground, shaking violently from trying to muffle his cries. He was drenched from the rain. Stains of blood stood out clearly on his white shirt.

"Credence?" he asked tentatively.

He looked up at Percival, startled. He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a sob.

"Shh, Credence, it's alright." Percival soothed. "I need you stand up and hold onto my arm. Do you think you can do that?”

Credence nodded and allowed himself to be hoisted up into a standing position. He held on tight to Percival's arm as requested. Percival turned on the spot, disapparating home.

It took Credence a while to settle down, and recover from the feeling of apparating for the first time, and whatever had caused him to be outside in the pouring rain, bleeding.

"Credence?"

He looked up at Percival.

"Can you tell me what happened?”

"M-M-Mother." stuttered Credence. "She said that I needed to be-be p-punished for not being d-devoted enough to the cause.” Percival nodded reassuringly, showing him it was okay to continue.

"She hit me, worse than she ever has, and then told me I had to sleep outside so I could learn to be better.”

"Oh, Credence," Percival said sadly. "It's alright, you’re safe here, I'll help you.Could you, please, show me where she hurt you?”

"My b-back and hands.”

Percival took the young man's hands in his, whispering gentle words to Credence, to dispel the uncertain look on his face.

He slowly, carefully, dragged his wand over the deep red cuts on Credence palms, unable to stop himself from smiling slightly at the look of amazement on Credence's face watching the skin knit itself back together.

"Can I see your back?" asked Percival.

Credence shook his head immediately. "No, no, please, I don’t-"

"It's alright," he said quickly. "It's okay, you don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with. How about I just stop it from hurting? Like I usually do.”

Credence still looked unsure.

"You can keep your shirt on, you just have to turn around.”

Eventually, Credence nodded. “Okay."

Percival gently ran his wand over Credence’s shirt, again using a spell the sooth the pain. It seemed to the trick, Credence’s face relaxed, the tension in back slacking.

"Thank you, Mr Graves."

"It's no trouble Credence. I just want to help." he gave him a small reassuring smile. "Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?”

"No, no, sir, I've already been so much trouble-“

"Credence," interrupted Percival. "You've been no trouble. I just asked because you look quite pale. I thought some food and drink may help.”

"I'm not supposed to," Credence trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

Percival looked at him questioningly. "Credence. When was the last time you ate something?”

“Tuesday."

Percival didn’t quite know how to respond. How anyone could willingly starve another person was beyond him. An extreme reaction would not be what Credence needed right now. Instead Percival opted to calmly ask. "Your mother hasn't let you eat in three days?”

"She said it was a test," Credence expressed in a small voice. "To see if I was worthy or not.”

Percival tried his best to contain the anger swelling inside of him. No wonder Tina had snapped. How could someone treat a person like this? Especially someone as gentle as Credence was. Someone so kind, thoughtful.

_Beautiful_

But that was a dangerous line of thinking. Not something he should linger on. Not a road to go down. Something to push out of his head, despite how much these thoughts seemed to intrude in his mind.

"Sit at the table, Credence. I'll get you something to eat.”

"You don't have to.”

"I insist.”

Credence didn't argue, he just sat there quietly until Percival had finished in the kitchen.

He did not prepare anything difficult. Bread and soup. Something simple that would also be easy on Credence’s stomach and warm him up, but also filling enough to sustain him.

Percival set the food down in front of Credence. He ate quickly, his hunger apparent. They didn't speak again until the clock chimed, signaling that it was four in the morning.

"I need to go back." Credence said, getting to his feet. "Or she's going to wonder why I left the street and then-“

"It's alright Credence. I'd never give her an excuse to hurt you. I'll take you back now if that's what you want. Just hold to my arm.”

They disapparated onto the street where Credence lived.

Percival stopped Credence as he started to walk away, who merely looked at him, waiting.

"I'm not technically meant to be talking to you. In the Wizarding World, it's against our laws. But I'm going to work something out. So you don't have to be here anymore. Where that woman can't hurt you. I'll get Tina to help me. I promise Credence, no matter how long it takes. I will get you away.”

Credence didn't speak, just stared at Percival in shock.

Any common sense, any sort of worry Percival had about how damaging this could be to his career, left him, as he cupped both sides of Credence's face, tilting his it up, and kissing his forehead.

"We'll do it, we will."

* * *

Something had changed, after that.

Credence had let go. He had never allowed himself, never had had this level of comfort or affection with anyone. He had never felt any sort of calm, or happiness until he had met Tina, and then this feeling had only grown with Mr Graves. _Percival._ At home, he couldn't even sleep without the deep, sickening feeling of constant fear. Feeling alien and isolated. Dragged away to be beaten for whatever wrongdoings his mother picked out. Whenever he felt these extreme emotions the dark mass inside him swirled and consumed him to the point he could not control it. He never knew how to feel about it. This darkness protected him, made him feel powerful. He also thought it was a nasty, ugly thing. But when he was with Percival darkness seemed to turn into light. Giving him hope and happiness.

Percival had changed too. He was not someone who was comfortable with people. He did not like to reveal much of himself. Preferring to be reserved and alone. His fellow workers only saw him as a shrewd, reserved, powerful wizard, with a capable mind, who was dedicated to his work and the law. Only a handful of people in his life, truly knew what he was like. Credence was now one of them. He didn't know how it happened. He had tried so hard to keep some sort of distance between them. To stop himself falling headfirst into the trouble, this would eventually cause. But he didn't care.

* * *

 

Percival didn’t think it were possible, but work had become even more stressful. The threat level had been raised to extreme. He was barely leaving his office, let alone talking to people. He hadn't even had the opportunity to speak to Tina. To tell her that he had been seeing  Credence, trying to keep him safe.

He had so many secrets, everything kept so close to his chest. He needed to tell Tina that he did as she asked. That Credence was okay.

He wanted nothing more than to leave, to take Credence away. To make sure he was safe. He couldn't stand to see Credence this way. He had so much to lose, he couldn't even imagine the danger they would both be put in if someone were to find out.

But he had Credence, his one shining light. So close to him, so close.

* * *

"Can I do something?" asked Percival. "And if you don't like it, I won't mind. Just tell me to stop and I will.”

Credence nodded, looking intently at him.

Percival closed the gap between them. He was precise about it, slowly working his lips against Credence’s, coaxing his mouth open. And then Credence was pushing back as hard as he could give, any resolve, any trace of his mother's voice in his head leaving him, as he opened his mouth fully and tangled his breath with Percival’s.

Eventually, sadly, Percival ended the kiss and pulled Credence into a hug. 

"Was that alright?” he said, instead.

"Yes." breathed out Credence.

* * *

Percival was on top of Credence, pinning him to the bed, placing slow, languid kisses to his mouth. He knew how dangerous this was, how deep he was in, but he didn't care.

Why couldn't he let himself be stupid for once? Go in without having a backup plan. He was always so cautious about everything. Always following the rules, the law, never doing anything for himself. Why couldn't he just keep kissing and wanting and giving? Giving Credence everything he could. Just for this, only this.

Credence moaned as Percival moved his lips to the young man's neck, leaving a trail of biting kisses.

"Graves. P-Percival." breathed out Credence.

"I'm here." he pressed their foreheads together. "Right here." Percival moved back to continue kissing Credence.

"Is this okay?" asked Percival.

"Yes, it's okay.”

Percival could not help the grin that spread across his face, and leant back down, kissing Credence hard.

Credence was panting now, his attempts at open-mouthed kisses going sloppy under Percival's tirade of controlled, biting ones.

"Look at you," mumbled Percival in between kisses. "So good for me." Percival ground his hips down and felt Credence's slight jump.

He stopped and moved away, so he was longer over him. "Was that too much?”

"It was just unexpected, I'm not supposed to, well I've never…"

"It's okay," said Percival. "We can stop. I don't want to do anything you aren't comfortable with."

“I still don’t know how to feel. Everything I’ve been taught, told about this.” Credence trailed off.

“Your mother was wrong about witches and wizards, could she not also be wrong about this?”

“I know.”

“Here, I have something for you. Wait a moment" Percival kissed Credence on the cheek and got up to rummage in his bedside draw.

"Here," he said, showing Credence two silver coins.

"What are they?" asked Credence, sitting up.

"They are coins I charmed," explained Percival. "If you ever need anything, you hold it tightly in your hand and think of me, and something you want to say, then it will appear on my coin."

"Does yours do the same?"

"Yes."

Credence gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

Percival kissed him again. "You look exhausted. Try and get some sleep." He gently pushed Credence down to a lying position again.

"What about my mother?" asked Credence, worry plain in his voice.

"It's okay." Percival placed the two coins on the bedside, and lay down next to Credence, pulling him in close. "I'll make her forget you were gone. She'll think you were with her the whole night."

Credence burrowed his face into Percival's neck and closed his eyes. "I thought you weren't meant to use spells on non-magic people?" he said, his voice slightly muffled.

Percival smiled, running a hand through Credences hair. "We aren't, but I'll make an exception for you.”

Percival may not be able to do anything yet, but he would eventually and one day, they'd be free.

* * *

That night had been one of the worst yet.

Credence couldn't even remember what he had done. His mother beat him until her hand was tired. She forced a stack of flyers upon him, telling him not to return until they were all gone. Despite having given them all out hours ago, he did not have the courage to go back home.

Credence waited for Percival outside the Woolworth building, doing his best to stay in the cover of the alleyway.

Percival spotted him at once.

"Credence! What’s happened? What did she do?" He cupped his hands around young man's face, wiping a stray tear from his cheek.

"I don't know," whimpered Credence. "I didn’t do anything bad, I didn't I know." Credence needed him to know that. He needed him know he hadn't done anything. If Percival ever thought of him as a disobedient or difficult, he’d probably leave. He couldn't be alone again, he couldn't lose the only light he had.

"I know Credence, I know.  You don't deserve this. You don't." Percival pulled him into a tight hug.

"I don't deserve you, I don't deserve this help" Credence could feel the black mass inside him swirling. He had to control it. He had to. Percival would hate it. He would hate the ugliness inside him. But it was swelling. Consuming him.

But he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t control it anymore. He was weak, he deserved this. The pain, the ache, the suffering. He just wanted to let go, to not think. To be free.

"Move!" he growled.

Percival stepped backwards, confusion wrought on his face. "What are you-"

And then Credence broke. The darkness consuming him. Forgetting everything around him. Exploding into the sky.

* * *

Percival didn't know what had happened. He had always assumed Credence was a squib. No one lived repressing their magic for more than ten years, let alone over twenty. He had to find out where Credence was. Find out what had happened, how he could help. He needed to plan.

He would go back to his apartment. Wait and see if Credence would go there, looking for him. He'd also contact Tina. She'd help him, she genuinely cared for Credence. While he had only spoken about him to her once in the past few months, he knew she would not be angry for his secrecy.

He apparated back to his home and started digging through his drawer for some floo powder, frantic for worry over Credence.

Percival did not notice that his door already stood ajar.

"I was hoping young Credence would be with you.” said a voice from behind him

He froze.

"Turn around for me, Mr Graves. Let me see your face.”

Percival didn't move, he slowly reached for his wand in his cloak pocket.

_A sharp laugh_

"Oh, you'll have to try better than that.”

And then. Everything went black.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always my ickle cake pops, comments and criticism are always welcome


	2. Least Favourite Life (during)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for  
> \- non graphic depictions of violence/torture  
> \- mentions emotional manipulation and threats  
> \- general hurt and no comfort
> 
> Chapter title from a my least favourite life by lera lynn

**Darkness.**

**Bright light.**

**Excruciating pain.**

**That was all Percival could see and feel.**

**He tried. He tried so hard not to say anything. But we all break eventually. We all have something that makes us talk.**

* * *

"I saw dear Credence today.”

Percival could taste blood in his mouth.

"Is he always this sad?”

"Leave him alone.”

Grindelwald laughed. A cold, haunting thing.

"Now, why would I do that? He's such an integral part of my plans. And so soft, so naive. Of course, I can reduce his role, if you tell me what I need to know.”

_He would not tell him. He couldn't tell him._

Percival spat in his face. "Go fuck yourself.”

"Fine." Grindelwald sneered down at him. "We'll do it your way.”

He shook his head and let out a small laugh. "There is so much you don't understand.”

“Crucio!”

* * *

"Tell me what you know!" Grindelwald shouted.

"Nothing. We don't know-" Percival could barely speak. He felt his teeth would shatter from how hard he was clenching down on them.

He would not scream. He would not give him that satisfaction.

"I'm sure you must have let something slip to Credence. Maybe he'll be more cooperative."

Percival shook his head violently. "No, no, he doesn't know anything.”

"I think it's worth a shot," Grindelwald said coldly.

“Please,"

_(A voice from weeks ago swam in his head._

_"Oh I will make you beg Mr Graves”)_

"Please, I'll tell you what you want to know. Just-  don't touch Credence." Percival could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks.

"What does MCUSA know about the recent attacks?”

_Credence. You are doing this for Credence._

"Not a lot. We assume it's a beast, but have no idea which kind. They are too random to show any control.”

"Obscurials," said Grindelwald. "What do you know about them?”

"Some say they don't exist. But there is a lot of evidence to say they do. Obscurial’s don't live past the age of 10. The magic they are forcing away can't contain itself for much longer." He would not tell him about Credence. He would not say.

"And the Second Salemer's? What do you know about them?”

"We've been keeping a close eye on them. But they haven't given us any reason to have a huge concern.”

"Tina Goldstein, she attacked their leader?" asked Grindelwald.

"Yes, to protect Credence. We obliviated everyone, apart from him.”

"And then she asked you to keep an eye on Credence?”

“Yes."

"And the boy? Does he have any magic?”

"He's a squib." lied Percival. "He has magical ancestry. But possesses no powers."

Grindelwald said nothing. Just stared at Percival. Considering.

"That's all I know," Percival said.

"Well," Grindelwald leant forward and plucked a hair from Percival's head. "I'm late for a meeting with Credence.”

"No." Percival strained against the magical chains holding him down. "You said you'd leave him alone!”

Grindelwald laughed. "Oh no, Mr Graves. I never said I would. You just assumed." With a flick of his wand the lights in the room disappeared once more.

"Don't hurt him," screamed Percival. "I'll do whatever you need, just leave him alone!"

But Grindelwald did not turn back. He heard the sound of a door closing and was alone once more.

* * *

Percival had changed, Credence noticed.

He knew that it was his fault. He had lost control in front him, and now he hated him.

Yes, he still fixed Credence wounds. Still touched him, still spoke to him. But it was not the same.

Before, Percival would be gentle, whisper words of comfort and affection. Hold him. Kiss him. Now, he was distent, not Percival anymore but Mr Graves. Reserved, kept away from him.

Of course, it hadn’t been meant to last Credence didn't deserve anything Mr Graves had given him before. He should be grateful for what he was getting now.

He was ugly and vile. The darkness inside him, repulsive. No wonder Mr Graves had changed.

But, if only he found that child, then he'd be able to go with Mr Graves. Join the Wizarding World. Maybe then Mr. Graves would start to like him again.

This hope didn't stop him from missing the contact they used to have. But Credence was ugly and vile. The darkness inside him repulsive. He did not deserve anything good Mr Graves gave him.

* * *

Grindelwald quickly learnt that talking about Credence cut deeper than any curse ever could. All he had to do was talk about the boy, what his mother did to him, what he did, and Percival Graves was weak.

“She beat him badly today," he said. "How lucky it was that I was there to take away all the pain. He was so very thankful.”

Percival tried to overcome the spells that bound his body. That kept him in this place. He didn't care what would happen if he were to escape. Even if he stood no chance against Grindelwald, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered because all he could think of was Credence. He needed to save Credence.

“I could do anything to him. Every act of cruelty and pain I could imagine and he wouldn't even know it wasn't you. Stupid squib would never realise.”

At least Percival knew that he was still alive. Knowing Grindelwald was with Credence was a nightmare, but the knowledge  that Credence was alive gave Percival the strength to breathe, to keep fighting. He would not let Grindelwald win. He would not let him take Credence from him. Credence was alive. Percival held onto that with all his strength.

* * *

Mr Graves had hit him. Credence was still reeling from it. He had promised that he would never hurt him. That he would never touch him in that way. But Mr Graves had hit him.

It was his fault, thought Credence. He had not done what he was supposed to. He was weak. Like a child. He was surprised Mr Graves had not hit him sooner. But it hurt. To have his saviour, the man he loved, treat him like that.

Although, Credence should never have been saved in the first place. He did not deserve Percival Graves.

* * *

Grindelwald had not come today. Or the day before. Something was horribly wrong.

Percival could not move. He could not escape. All Percival could think of was Credence. He needed to know, needed him to be safe. He couldn't even imagine the possibilities of what Grindelwald could have done to him. Percival needed to escape, needed to fight harder.

* * *

It was Tina who found him, discovered the concealed door in Percival's home. Saw his bloody, broken, body in the corner of the cold, dark room.

"Mr Graves?" she asked urgently, shaking his shoulders. "Percival! It's me, it's Tina. You're safe now. Grindelwald is gone.”

Percival mumbled something, and then grabbed the front of Tina's blouse.

"Credence." he panted. "Is Credence safe?”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I know this is short and some may think it isn't good but i just didn't really know what to write. I did't think a couple thousands words of torture was right, so I thought I'd try to show Percival and the level of dedication he had to Credence. And also try to show what Credence thought about the changes and try to tie into canon is deep feelings of despair and betrayal. But anyway. I hope you enjoyed it <3


	3. Exit Music (For a Film)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A SEQUAL TO THIS FIC IS HERE
> 
> \- Well the prologue is here, but chapter one drops on 10th July

**_Psalm 23:4_ **  
**_"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me."_ **

* * *

"Mr Graves.”

"P-Percival?"

_A whisper, in a tone so familiar._

_A voice he'd thought he would never hear again._

"It's okay. He's gone. He can't hurt anyone.”

_Credence._

Percival's eyes fluttered open.

The young man standing above him beamed. He looked older.

_No_

More mature. He still had the glint of hope and youthfulness in his eyes that Percival had missed so much.

"Oh, Credence." He reached out a hand, which Credence took, and squeezed tightly.

"Was any of it you?" Credence asked. "Did you know about anything he did?”

"None. No" insisted Percival. "I would never let anyone take advantage of you like that. You have to believe me. I fought so hard to get out. I never told him anything about you. None of it was me. None.”

Credence sunk onto the bed and moved to lie next to him. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and pulled him close, whispering words of comfort and reassurance in his ear.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I should have fought harder. I should have protected you.”

"You're here now," he said. "That's all that matters.”

Percival kissed his forehead. "I love you. So much, you need to know that. I'd never let anyone hurt you.”

"I know," murmured Credence. "I love you too.”

Percival kissed him softly on the mouth and nuzzled his head into the crook of Credence's neck.

"I have magic."

"I know," replied Percival. "And I'm sure with the right training. You will be a great wizard.”

"Will you teach me?" asked Credence, hope ringing in his voice.

Percival chuckled softly. "If you want me to. Though it might be worth getting someone who's better at explaining things than I am.”

"Like Tina?”

"I'm sure Tina would love to help. Speaking of her, is she okay?”

"Yes," replied Credence. "A little shook up, but we all are.”

"What happened? What did Grindelwald want?" asked Percival.

"I'll explain," said Credence. "But first, I just need one more thing.”

"Anything." said Percival.

"Wake up.”

“What."

"Percival, please, it's alright. You need to wake up." _That wasn't Credence's voice._

"Wake up,”

_Tina._

_No._

_Credence was there. He was._

Percival woke with a start, bolting upright.

"It's okay, calm down.”

Healers were attempting to hold him down.

"Get the fuck off me. I'm all right.”

"Let him go," Tina said. "He's fine. You can get off him.”

They let go, and started rushing around him, checking wounds and forcing him to drink all kinds of potions. Percival complied, he just wanted them gone, as quickly as possible.

"I assume you have questions." said a British-sounding man, sitting in between Queenie and Tina.

"Yeah, who the fuck are you?”

"I'm Newt Scamander. I think you knew my brother Th-“

"Yeah, Theseus. But it doesn't explain why the hell you're in New York.”

"It's not that important, I had a problem with a few of my creatures, and ran into some trouble with Grindelwald, and ended up helping your Ministry, I mean MACUSA.”

"Where's Credence?" asked Percival. He immediately noted the way everyone's faces changed at the mention of that name.

"I am so sorry Percival. I know that you helped him before-" Tina trailed off, her eyes brimming with tears.

"But he was just," He looked next to him to the empty spot on the bed. "What happened?”

"Credence was an-" Scamander began.

"Yeah an Obscurus, I know." interrupted Percival. "But I didn't tell Grindelwald that. I convinced him that Credence was a squib.”

"Credence lost control in front of Grindelwald," explained Scamander. "Grindelwald had tried to get Credence to help him find an Obscurus, so he knew how it would be and look.”

"So what, Grindelwald has him?”

Tina shook her head, wiping away a stray tear. "He couldn't control it, and the aurors didn't know, so they-they." She did not finish the sentence. She didn't need to. Percival understood.

"Did he know?" Percival said eventually, hearing the crack in his voice. "Did Credence know that it wasn't me? That it was Grindelwald, that I-" He trailed off. Unable to finish his sentence. 

"I'm sorry, Mr Graves. I don't think so.”

"Get out," Percival said. His voice was devoid of all emotion. "All of you. Now.”

Newt and Tina stood up at once, heading for the doorway, but Queenie lagged behind.

"Mr Graves, sir." she said as the door closed.

“What?"

"I know how much you loved him. So I am truly sorry for your loss.”

"Please, Queenie, I'd like some time alone.”

She nodded and gave a soft smile. Full of pity.

“Queenie?"

"Yes, Sir?" she asked turning around to face him.

"Let's keep that between us, yes?"

"Of course, Sir.”

"And stay out of my head."

* * *

They let him leave a few days later.

Only after a lot of arguing and forcing Picquery to tell them to let him go. Percival still wasn't allowed to go back to work. Something about, "doing too much, too fast.” It was complete bullshit, he thought. All he wanted to do was to distract himself, and work was the best way of doing that.

He didn't like being at home. It gave him too much time to think. Dwell on things. He started seeing shapes in the shadows. Heard soft spoken voices, whispers of promises made in the dark. Memories he clung onto, could never forget. 

The guilt was the worst. It crept up on Percival slowly, never giving him any warning. He would lay in bed at night, and it came over him, swarming everywhere like a plague of locust, eating away at him. It was like he'd never feel anything else but that overwhelming sense of shame.

That he didn't fight hard enough, that he couldn't save Credence.

Nothing could alleviate that. Percival needed a distraction. He needed to work. Something to stop that voice in his head from consuming him.

The nightmares started not long after that.

* * *

It was common with those who fought in the war. Dreams. Nightmares. Reliving the memories you tried so hard to bury away. Some were driven mad by it. The constant exposure to what you never wanted to see again, to feel, hear.

_Crucio!_

Pain. The most intense pain he had ever felt in his life.

The face of the man standing above him morphed into one much more familiar.

“Credence?"

"Why didn't you save me?”

He was crying.

No, thought Percival. Those weren't tears.

Blood was dripping from Credence's eyes.

"You could have done more. Why weren't you stronger?" He met Percival's gaze. His eyes were black. Jet black. No longer the soft brown eyes he had fallen so deeply for.

"I'm sorry Credence. I am truly-“

Credence began to laugh. Cold and sharp, nothing sweet or kind in it. His teeth began to grow. Long. Thin. His jaw elongated. Laughing the whole time.

And Percival could not move. He couldn't move.

Credence launched himself at Percival. Tearing him apart. Ripping at any skin he could see.

* * *

Percival shot up, panting he grabbed his wand from the bedside table.

“Lumos."

He was drenched in sweat and had been scratching at his skin so much, that he had drawn blood.

Percival pulled open the bedside drawer and fumbled around for a moment before pulling out a silver coin.

He clutched it tightly in his hand and tried to steady his breathing.

* * *

It was as if God had adjusted the colours of the world in the night, as though it was as easy as flicking a wand.

Everything was brighter than it should be; the trees were not just green but bright virescent hues that burned themselves in Percival's sleep deprived eyes. The houses stood vibrant in the golden rays of sunlight that fell through the clear sky.

_"It's a good thing," Queenie had said. "It shows that you see the color in the world again, that you're moving on.”_

It made him laugh. Moving on. No.

Percival hadn't moved. The world was merely continuing around him. He was still.

* * *

**_“To the people of the ancient world, there was no doubt that the soul of a human being survived bodily death. Whatever an individual's personal views were on the subject, or culturally how they had been brought up, all had the understanding that the dead lived on in another form.”_ **

* * *

He went back to work a month later. It took a lot of arguing, but he persuaded Picquery, eventually.

Percival ignored the staring and whispering, spending most of his time shut up in his office, only leaving to collect paperwork, and speaking to no one, but Tina or Queenie.

She had made him leave his office to get lunch one afternoon. Complaining that _'he never ate'_ and was becoming a _'recluse'_. Percival gave in, there was only so much nagging he could take.

It was raining that day, cold, the wind sharp and biting. _Of all the days Tina could have made him leave his office, it had to be this one,_ he thought bitterly.

He made his way down the busy street towards The Dragon’s Egg, hoping that they would serve him Firewhisky at this time.

That's when Percival saw him.

_Credence?_

He stopped dead.

_It couldn't be._

The boy was walking in the opposite direction to him, and by the time Percival had regained some sense of thought, he was already half way back up the street.

Percival ran to catch up with him and pulled him around by the arm when he got to him.

“Credence!"

But that wasn't Credence.

_It didn't look anything like him._

"Sorry," said Percival. "I thought you were someone else." He let go of the man's arm and walked back down the street.

_What was wrong with him?_

The nightmares were one thing, but seeing things?

He needed sleep.

Or a very large drink of something very strong.

* * *

"How are you, Mr Graves?" Tina asked, taking a seat in his office.

"I'm working, Miss Goldstein. Can't this wait?" he replied, not taking his eyes off the paper in front of him.

"No, it can't." insisted Tina. "You are either working or at home. No one sees you anymore.”

"People are busy Tina, it isn't that unusual.”

"No, but it's concerning when it's you.”

Percival sighed, and looked up, meeting Tina's worried gaze.

"I'm okay, Tina.”

_Lie._

"I just want to get back to normal, and work is my way of doing that.”

Tina looked unsatisfied, but did not press the subject. "You'd tell us, though. If something was wrong?”

"I would.”

_Another lie._

_"_ You should come to mine and Queenie's for dinner. She's a good cook."

"I can't Tina." 

And there it was again. The rising shame, the guilt. The internal battle with himself.

_Just tell her you are struggling._

_No._

_He could do this alone. He wouldn't drag anyone else into the mess he had created.He shouldn't rely on others for help. He can't let them end up like Credence. He can't have people around him, only bad things happen to them. He was getting what he deserved._

_"_ Thank you though, for the offer."

* * *

_"Credence! Please, don't do this.”_

_An inhuman growl._

_"Please! Don't do th-"_

Percival sat up panting and tried to regain control over his breathing.

Once he had, he got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and poured himself a glass of Firewhisky, downing it in one.

Queenie's voice swam in his head.

_"You still have things that remind you of him. You'll never be free as long they're still with you.”_

Percival went back to the bedroom and opened his bedside drawer, picking up the silver coin and turned it over in his hand, closing his eyes.

_I'm sorry Credence._

Percival pulled open the bedroom window and threw the coin as hard as he could.

* * *

**Many religions, legends, and belief systems describe shadowy spiritual beings or supernatural entities such as shades of the underworld. There are some that believe shadows can linger in our world, an imprint of those passed away, waiting to be returned to life.**

_(Percival Graves did not notice the shadow in the corner of his bedroom, seemingly cast by nothing)_   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so conflicted about how I should end this. Having them safe and together just didn't feel right. I wrote that sort of ending but it just felt, out of character. I though it would be better to stick with canon and have a glint of hope at the end. I hope no one feels cheated by the last chapter. I know dream shit is cheap move and a lot of people hate it, but it just felt right? This fic has been a lot of me doing things i wouldn't usually so i don't know.
> 
> I also have a track/play list of the songs i have for this fic/ship
> 
> \- Dancing In the Dark by Bruce Springsteen (Ben Howard cover)  
> \- The Cause by Laura Gibson  
> \- It Will Come Back by Hozier  
> \- Way Down We Go (stripped) by Kaleo  
> \- Feeling Good by Nina Simone (Ane Brun cover)  
> \- I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash  
> \- BTSK by MSMR  
> \- Love Is Blindness by Jack White  
> \- Little Drops of Poison by Tom Waits  
> \- My Least Favourite Life by Lera Lynn  
> \- Blackbird Song by Lee DeWyze  
> \- My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit  
> \- Where Does the Good Go? by Tegan and Sara  
> \- Lead Me Home by Jamie N Commons  
> \- A Church In Ruins by Lera Lynn  
> \- The Ice Is Getting Thinner by Death Cab For Cutie  
> \- Through the Valley by Shawn James  
> \- Baby by Warpaint  
> \- Exit Music (for a film) by Radiohead


End file.
